Really funny

Using this blog, I can condense the amount of forwards I send (even though I don't send that many).

Anyway, this one is classic - I love it.
Under 1 point Dares -- #2,4,5,8 are the best.

Office Dares...
ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first two people who say 'good morning' to you...
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your earsandGrimace.
5) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisperhuskily,"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
6) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
7) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
8) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doorsopen.

THREE-POINT DARES 1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him withdouble-barreledfingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get allthat,I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from thenozzle(there must be a 'non-player within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES 1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice toconclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if youactually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you withgrowing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do anumbertwo".
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. Asin"The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6) While a coworker is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly andmutter, "Shut up, d_amn it, all of you just shut up!".
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as mywitness,I'll never go hungry again".
9) In a coworker's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".(One extra point if it is a male, five extra points if he is your boss)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wannatrade?".
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Doyouhear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talkabout it".
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a coworker and tell him he's won a lunchforfour at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a veryimportant conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of yourpantsand act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and cookie, smashingeachcookie with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards thedoor.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point ahairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going tohaveto let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want frieswiththat.
4) Put your trash bin on your desk and label it IN."
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gottenoverhis or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
7) Dont use any punctuation
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!!! (this is you Tim!)
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what gender they are. Laugh hysterically after theyanswer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of junglesoundsall day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their partybecause you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd timethisweek!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,Runfor your lives, they're loose!"