Bad Habits by Astrological Sign

According to this...
I must secretly be a Taurus (with the clutter haha).

Devin, you definitely are a Secret Virgo with the "scared of filth". :).

Jen, apparently we shouldn't give you animals to take care of. LOL.

Nikki, you should bake and get messy once a day. :)

Jay, you should practice your intimacy with Nicole. LOL.
Lori- you should practice your intimacy with Craig .

Karen, as much as you love Verizon - you have to stop your workaholic ways
James - you too - stop being such a workaholic.

Gina, you should watch how much you drink

Chris, get a diary.

Victoria, shopping cannot be your life. :)

• Aries Out in Front

Rams have a habit of pushing to the front of the line, both literally and figuratively. And while this quality has helped Aries get ahead, it can also compromise their relationships. Putting an animal, child or plant in their care can correct the problem. As soon as this sign's nurturing qualities are cultivated, their selfishness will diminish.

• Taurean Trash

Bulls love clutter. Being surrounded by all their possessions gives them a sense of security. It also creates headaches, confusion, and chaos. Storage systems that keep their stuff on display will prevent this sign from strewing their stuff all over the house. Stacking baskets, glass jars, and open shelving can promote organization.

• Nerve-Wracking Twins

Geminis are the nail-biters of the zodiac. Twins are self-conscious about their hands, and need to keep them busy at all times. Activities like knitting, carving, or bead work provide welcome distractions. Weekly manicures will also keep temptation at bay. Twins are less likely to gnaw their cuticles when they've just paid for their upkeep!

• Cancers and the Candyman

If you've ever wondered how Cancers stay so sweet, take a look at their sugar intake. This sign loves cookies, candy, and ice cream. An occasional indulgence is fine, but too much dessert can take a toll on waist lines and energy levels. What Crabs are really seeking is oral gratification. Sugar-free gum or dried fruit provides a healthy distraction from candy crunching.

• Lavish Leos
The guy who's sitting next to you in the elegant restaurant, shouting to his personal assistant on his cell phone? Probably a Leo. It's only natural that a sign that is blessed with creativity, charm and wit feels tempted to show off. Actually, this desire to brag is rooted in insecurity. The sooner Lions learn to compliment others, the quicker they'll receive the praise they crave.

• Virgos Fear Filth
These nit-pickers sometimes compromise their own pleasure for the sake of perfection. Deep down inside, these folks are really sensualists at heart. They need to learn that it is better to feel good than to look good. Allocating a few minutes each day for fun but messy activities like baking, painting, or sculpting can cure Virgos of their fear of filth.

• Libras Love to Shop
Librans gave birth to the term "shopaholic". These folks have every credit card known to man. And while their taste is undeniably impeccable, it can get them in trouble at bankruptcy court. What's really at stake here is a quest for beauty. Enjoying simple but inexpensive pleasures like nature walks and museums can quell the urge to splurge.

• Strictly Scorpios
Nobody carries a grudge better than this sign. Unfortunately, hanging on to resentments has a way of crowding out love, happiness, and trust. In order for a Scorpio to let go of anger, they must first practice self-care. Getting a massage every month or writing in a journal each day will soften this sign's heart and enable forgiveness.

• Brutally Honest Sagittarius
Archers have a bad habit of telling the truth. And while these folks have the best intentions, that doesn't take the sting out of comments like, "Gee, those pants make you look fat!" or "Were you drunk when you wrote this report?" The best way for Archers to cultivate tact is through prodigious study. Etiquette books will definitely help!

• Capricorns Can't Quit
This sign is the original workaholic. Many Capricorns fear that poverty will set in the moment they stop toiling. Keeping a gratitude journal can break this terrible habit. The more Capricorn becomes aware of their non-material blessings, the healthier their behavior will become. No more cutting vacations short for the sake of work!

• Antisocial Aquarius
Water-bearers get into the habit of creating completely self-sufficient lives. Unfortunately, this makes it difficult for them to achieve intimacy. Basically, Aquarians are afraid that relationships will compromise their independence. Fortunately, these folks love to experiment. By treating intimacy as an exercise, this sign can relinquish control for the sake of loving relationships.

• Pickled Pisces
As a water sign, it's only natural that Pisceans find comfort in liquids. When those liquids have a high alcohol content, problems can ensue. Naturally, a twelve-step program can be of enormous benefit here. Meditation and yoga can help, too, as they allow Pisces to achieve a healthy sense of nirvana. That's all these Fish are really seeking.

Compliments of our friends at Maxim

Road Pop
A cop pulls over a ditzy looking blonde driving a convertible and asks to see her license.“What’s that?” she asks.He explains that it’s the card proving she knows how to drive.“Oh, I have one of those,” she says.After checking her information in the squad car, the cop says, “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to give you a ticket.”“What’s a ticket?” she asks.The cop thinks about it, looks both ways, and pulls out his di*k.The girl slumps in her seat and says, “Oh, no. Not another Breathalyzer.”

My request to Dave Matthews to play at Jay & Nicole's wedding

I even lied and said Jay travels the country to see Dave and the pric* didn't even write back. LOL.

-----Original Message-----
From: Jennifer Bivona [mailto:bivonajennifer@hotmail.com]
Sent: Monday, June 21, 2004 2:28 PM
To: fanmail@davematthewsband.com
Dear Dave...a request for you

Dear Dave,
My friend Jay is your biggest fan ever! He even plays at coffee shops, your music. He travels around the country to see you. Your his inspiration.

Jay is going to propose to his girlfriend soon and I wanted to know how much it cost to book you at a wedding, that would take place in NJ. Jay and his girlfriend met slowdancing to "Crash" and he's going to play that song for her, right before he proposes.

This would be the best wedding gift ever. I know you probably get millions of emails a day. I appreciate you reading and responding to this email.
-Jennifer Bivona

Really funny

Using this blog, I can condense the amount of forwards I send (even though I don't send that many).

Anyway, this one is classic - I love it.
Under 1 point Dares -- #2,4,5,8 are the best.

Office Dares...
ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first two people who say 'good morning' to you...
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your earsandGrimace.
5) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisperhuskily,"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
6) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
7) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
8) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doorsopen.

THREE-POINT DARES 1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him withdouble-barreledfingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get allthat,I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from thenozzle(there must be a 'non-player within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES 1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice toconclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if youactually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you withgrowing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do anumbertwo".
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. Asin"The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6) While a coworker is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly andmutter, "Shut up, d_amn it, all of you just shut up!".
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as mywitness,I'll never go hungry again".
9) In a coworker's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".(One extra point if it is a male, five extra points if he is your boss)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wannatrade?".
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Doyouhear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talkabout it".
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a coworker and tell him he's won a lunchforfour at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a veryimportant conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of yourpantsand act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and cookie, smashingeachcookie with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards thedoor.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point ahairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going tohaveto let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want frieswiththat.
4) Put your trash bin on your desk and label it IN."
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gottenoverhis or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
7) Dont use any punctuation
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!!! (this is you Tim!)
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what gender they are. Laugh hysterically after theyanswer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of junglesoundsall day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their partybecause you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd timethisweek!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,Runfor your lives, they're loose!"

More tax dollars & time will be wasted on satan jr.

So this ugly, horrible (inside & out) person who couldn't just leave her kids with her husband and drowned her kids gets a new trial.... they are just trying to save her from the death pentalty by stalling....because she is Texas. Who the f**k does this to one kid, let alone multiple kids anyway?

And bringing one of my favorite shows Law & Order into..its pretty foul. If this bi*ch was claiming to be so "influenced" by shows why the heck didn't she watch "Wednesday's Child" and consider having her children being put in a home by potentially loving parents?

I know ..I know I should just become a Social worker or Child Therapist already...it just breaks my heart.

Go to: http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/01/06/children.drowned/index.html for the full story minus my commentary.

This woman can afford drugs but not condoms?

She could even steal condoms from Rite Aid like people who used to call themselves Bambi& Thumper used to do. :)
But seriously, this woman is messed up.

Judge orders drug addict to stop having children

ROCHESTER, New York (AP) -- A Family Court judge who last year stirred debate about parental responsibilities ordered a second drug-addicted woman to have no more children until she proves she can look after the seven she already has.
The 31-year-old mother, identified in court papers only as Judgette W., lost custody of her children, ranging in age from eight months to 12 years, in child-neglect hearings dating back to 2000. Six are in foster care at state expense and one lives with an aunt.
The youngest child and two others tested positive for cocaine at birth and all seven "were removed from her care and custody because she could not and did not take care of them," Judge Marilyn O'Connor said in a December 22 decision made public Tuesday.

"Because every child born deserves a mother and a father, or at the very least a mother or a father, this court is once again taking this unusual step of ordering this biological mother to conceive no more children until she reclaims her children from foster care or other caretakers," O'Connor wrote.

In a similar ruling last March, O'Connor ordered a drug-addicted, homeless mother of four to refrain from bearing children until she won back care of her children. The decision, the first of its kind in New York, is being appealed.

Wisconsin and Ohio have upheld similar rulings involving "deadbeat dads" who failed to pay child support. But in other states, judges have turned back attempts to interfere with a person's right to procreate.

O'Connor said she was not forcing contraception or sterilization on the mother, who had children with seven different men, nor requiring her to get an abortion should she become pregnant. But she warned that the woman could be jailed for contempt if she has another child.

The New York Civil Liberties Union maintained that the opinion cannot be enforced because it "tramples on a fundamental right -- the right to procreate."

"There is no question the circumstances of this case are deeply troubling," said the group's executive director, Donna Lieberman. "But ordering a woman under threat of jail not to have any more babies ... puts the court squarely in the bedroom. And that's no place for the government."