Inside my mind
Warning: Sarcasm is about to dominate your computer screen.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
My new idea
I think they should have a dating website like Amazon
and people (your exes) would put "Works great, in __, " "I should have made better use of the relationship"
"I give her ***** 5 stars"
Add Jennifer to your dating (instead of shopping) cart!! Add Jennifer to your Wish List
Customers who liked Jennifer also liked :
a)
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Product Description
Jennifer is hilarous. Her brain works at a high speed.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Email between me & mom
So I sent my mom this forward:
She wrote:
From: Debra Smith
Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2005 3:44 PM
To: Bivona, Jennifer
Subject: RE:
Jennifer Lynn Bivona!!!!!!Don't do that. NOt NICE!
You are still a christian.
__________________________________________________
I wrote back:
From: Bivona, Jennifer
Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2005 3:48 PM
To: 'Debra Smith'
Subject: RE:
i didnt think sending it or finding it funny was bad,...
sorry
___________________________________________________
She responded with:
From: Debra Smith
Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2005 3:49 PM
To: Bivona, Jennifer
Subject: RE:
ok, but it is offensive to me. I still Love the Lord Jesus, and
He would never Talk to the hand.
Mom
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
What the f**k?
DO you know what September 9th is?
STOP A Suicide Day
I am not joking!
But feel free to kill yourself the other 364 days a year!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
What the World's Biggest Douche Bag is Reading
Along with "Dr. Seuss's All the Places we will go,"Sweet Valley High Twins latest book" the President is also reading a book about salt. And are these books on tape? Of course! For a complete list of what he will read this summer while he does nothing at his ranch during his 4 week vacation.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
The Quest for me to kick my worst habit
Nope it’s not the nail biting or my apathy for tidying up my home. Its smoking. Next Monday, I am getting a tooth pulled (feel free to bring me flowers and ice cream ha-ha).
They advised my not to smoke for a week - starting on Monday because I can get dry socket.
3 years ago, when I got one of my wisdom teeth pulled, I was advised the same thing and I waited I think a whole 8 hours before lighting up(5 of those 8 hours I was sleeping).
And yes my automatic reaction is to think "well I'll do what I did last time; not finish the cigarettes and smoke 90% less than usual". But another side of me is like why you don’t take this opportunity that will be to just attempt quitting because fear #2 is gaining weight and for first few days I probably won't eat much anyway. But fear #1 is having major mood swings, being mean to people and being short for more than a day. That bothers me. What is totally dumb and not logical (so therefore out of character) is wouldn't my friends and family rather have me alive and a little snippy for a few weeks than have me be the typical person I am but with a shorter life span? Somehow I don't buy it. And I suppose that’s an indirect, non personal insult to everyone who cares about me.
I mean I know Bi polar people who everyone puts up with and they are like that FOREVER. Most pregnant women are not the easiest bunch to deal with (no offense Lori, I don't think you are bad :).But the point is, if I know that people can put up with moody, hormonal pregnant chicks and bi polar people, why am I doubting the ability to put up with me as I go through withdrawal?
Answer: 1) I am too hard on myself. 2) In general, no one wants to deal with that stuff for too long.
Prior to this dental situation where I might be forced to give up the habit;at least for a few days- I have only imagined being able and willing to quit to get pregnant. I personally, wouldn't get pregnant out of wedlock. Since I don't know what life has in store for me, maybe I shouldn't rely on that being the time, if it ever comes. I just liked the fact that 1) its a super good reason and 2) you are already hormonal and gaining weight so my two main fears from quitting wouldn't be a concern.
In terms of trying to quit next week and long term, I am trying to remember the horrible 2 week cold I had last month, trying to remind myself that its not the end of the world to be moody and erratic -although its an unusual world..thats for sure. And anyone who knows me knows I wouldn't use it as an excuse to be mean...but I guess as independent and self sufficient as I am, attempting to give up an addiction that has been with me for 8 years, that has been my safety (ironic choice of words) net throughout all the stress in my life; I cannot imagine trying to say goodbye to cigarettes alone and I feel that if I had withdrawal and was moody, it would be more difficult for people to be supportive.
I am super proud of my dad,(who I love very much) a smoker of over 40 years - he quit a few years ago. Luckily I didn't live at home when he finally quit and didn't have to bear the moods he was in. But I remember 6 years ago, when I lived at home and he tried to quit . I had never been so angry and upset by him. I think its incredibly disrespectful to call your parents a curse word - and I even said to him, once while he was Mr. Mean Person, "You are acting like a real asshole" because it was unbearable to deal with the way he was and the things he'd say and I am pretty strong person. So maybe I shouldn't think of that as my only frame of reference because quite frankly my dad makes the father from The Wonder Years appear jovial.
I don't know if I have what it takes to quit for at least a week, as recommended by the dentist; let alone forever but I think I am going to try since I have multiple reasons to try to quit. And if I cannot go more than 2 days, maybe it'll at least be a stepping stone to show myself I can go without my beloved nicotine.
And if no one wants to talk to me, I'll just vent on my blog. LOL
Thursday, August 04, 2005
This is why I date guys who like to cuddle
but seriously this is fu*ked up...
Man Wanted To Watch Sports, Kills Wife "Because
she wanted to cuddle"
Monday, July 18, 2005
Monday, June 20, 2005
CIA chief has 'excellent idea' where bin Laden is
Good -find him! Isn't your job to keep quiet in the CIA and not talk about information regarding highly sensitive investigations to us? Keep quiet and do your job.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/06/20/goss.bin.laden/index.html
Christina Aguleria used as a torture mechanism
for terrorists and potential terrorists.
I feel very sorry for anyone being held in Cuba who is truly innocent but you have to admit it is kind of funny that "Genie in a Bottle" is the new way to torture a suspect.
Personally, I can handle Christina. I think it'd be much worse to have to listen to Meat Loaf, AC/DC, Pink Floyd or blue grass. You make a mixed tape of those bands & artist, and I bet you'll have a confession.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
My poem for DC
So next month is my 5 year anniversary living in DC. I feel like I was 19 and just moved here yesterday..not really. LOL.
But I wrote a little poem:
DC, its been 5 years - you & me
To my apartment, the longest place I ever resided in, my whole life
thanks to my nomad upbringing
Down the streets, I can hear the homeless people singing
The same ones I buy water for, when the heat index is 108 and
then proceed to yell "I don't want this". The only city where beggars try to be choosers
Where people like Marion Barry get re-elected - what a loser
Every other weekend offers gay festivities like Leather Bear Weekend, Cherry and Pride
No parades for the straight
Lauriol Plaza is a nice place for a date
If you like geometry, we offer lots of circles
Our buildings must be short
Walk down 12th St. far enough on a Saturday, and you can see a plenitude of whores
For fun, go to Union Station and take a Duck Tour
930 Club is one of the highlights of DC
At least to me
We have 3,092 CVS's only to be outnumbered by 3,339 Starbucks
But watch out Starbucks, Caribou Coffee is not far behind
Go to the Black Cat for a good show
Watch out for all the one way streets - look at the signs
Go to Feline's Basement for a good find
This is the city to live if a lawn you don't want to mow
Use somebody's roof top pool, to unwind
We have one of the cleanest metros in the world
Just be sure to get into the system by 6pm, as our transit system doesn't run 24 hours like normal places
Be sure to take pictures of you with the pandas, elephants,donkeys and your face
We now have our own baseball team
Too bad "taxation without representation" is still in effect
But that is just our priorities
You can win twice a day with the DC lottery
There is no other city like DC
where your GPA, where you went to school and what you do for a living- are the only conversations people can hold
You can go to the street vendor and get a cheesy FBI t-shirt in red, blue, pink or gold
We have good job opportunities and lots of fun stuff to do
This is the non-profit Mecca of the world
Go to Union Station to get aboard the choo-choo
Go to the 24 Hour CVS to wait in line for 10 hours because someone has to return
a stick of glue
See the Cherry Blossoms, Rock Creek Park, The Monument or The White House
In August, Congress is not in session
There are plenty of places to go for a salsa lesson
If you want to see the largest rats, Adams Morgan is a good place to look
Go to Kramers, Borders or Barnes and Noble, for a good book.
Nationals Game
So I went to my first Nationals Game the other night and I was pleasantly surprised. It was fun and The Nationals are super good. Even though they are literally in a different league than The Yankees, I'd venture to say they are almost as good as The Yankees.
The seats were as sweet as my chocolate chip- hazelnut cookies, Section 130. I don't think I can ever go to a baseball game again and be really far away or high up and appreciate it as much. You feel like you are on the field with the players. Its amazing.
Another surprise was the enthusiasm of the crowd - it was more than I ever have seen at Camden Yards, which shocked me a little since we adopted the Expos so its not like if you grew up in the DC area, you had a life time devotion to them.
Anyway, that's my story :)
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Wisdom Shines Through American's Perspective on Bush
People are starting to come around and realize what a mistake they made,voting for Bush. Glad you have to finally come to your senses.